This is why I'm a Polyandress

It's 4.5 months since I officially became a polyandress.  Part of me is surprised that it seems to be working so well.  The three of us have had our hiccups, but overall it's been great.  I finally feel like I'm being honest with myself about what I want in life and in relationships.

In fact, I think we just passed our first test of living this unconventional lifestyle.  Earlier this summer I got laid off from my job, and decided to use this extended "vacation" to go backpacking in Europe.  I invited Devon to join me for eight weeks.  During that time we would visit a handful of cities in Europe and Devon's extended family in Italy.

Before I booked my plane ticket I asked Trevor if this would be okay with him.  We would be separated for a long time and I wondered a bit if our relationship could handle it.  Plus, would Trevor be okay with me traveling alone with Devon for so long? 

Trevor told me to go have fun and he would see me when I returned.  He said that he would be busy with work and that the time would fly by before we would see each other again. 

A part of me wished that he had even a little jealousy towards Devon, but then I reminded myself, as I have so many times in the past 4.5 months, "This is why I'm a polyandress."

During my trip I kept in touch with Trevor everyday via the internet while I spent 24 hours a day with Devon. 


This vacation really re-solidified my relationship with Devon - and ironically, also re-confirmed my new polyandric lifestyle.

Devon and I had several conversations about what we want our life to look like in the future.  We want to always be together, but not in all the same ways of a normal husband and wife.  Why?  Well, one of the main reasons is that Devon is still an asexual.  Believe me, I thoroughly tested and re-tested this on our trip.  He is just not interested.

One day on our trip I broke down and asked him how it is possible to love me, but not want me.  Does he really even love me?  To me, emotional and physical love are intertwined, and yes, I do want to have both with him.

Devon told me that to him emotional and physical love are separate things, and he's "kinda grossed out" by the idea of physical love.  He doesn't even understand why I would want that, but since I do, he is supportive of my relationship with Trevor.

Of course that isn't the only thing that I enjoy about Trevor.  It's important to me to have a real relationship with him, not just a booty call.  And Trevor is also happy to timeshare me with Devon because Devon talks with and listens to me, provides emotional support, attends family events and keeps me happy.  Between the two of them I have one really awesome, fabulous man!

This is why I'm a polyandress.