Everyone has a fear of commitment these days. I'm afraid to commit long term to my job (I've been a freelancer for five years).
My men are afraid to commit to me (in the form of having kids together), because someone better, who is their perfect monogamous match, may come along.
My friends are afraid of committing to hang out on Friday night, because they might get another invitation, but they always say, "I'll let you know..."
I am attending a wedding this weekend. While my cousin is going to make a lifelong commitment to his new bride, I am struggling with the lack of and fear of commitment in my own life.
Trevor was supposed to be my date, but even after enthusiastically agreeing to go, and confirming it two weeks prior, the week before he flaked out. He couldn't handle being committed to spending a weekend with me, my parents and extended family.
"It's so much time with family," he complained.
Now, to be fair, in our polyandrous relationship, Devon is the one who primarily does family events with me. I had asked Trevor to come on the weekend-long trip with my family because I wanted him to make an occasional appearance so my parents could get to know him better. (My family likes Devon a lot, but isn't sure about Trevor.)
When Trevor told me he didn't want to go, I was immediately angry that he would back out like this after I've RSVP'd that he's coming. But, I held my temper, and said that it was okay because I am a polyandrist, and I would ask Devon instead.
Devon happened to call my phone, just 10 minutes later, while I was still at Trevor's. I answered the phone and asked him to come with me to the wedding while standing right in front of Trevor.
Devon said yes.
I got off the phone and said, "Aren't you lucky? You are off the hook!" I genuinely thought that was what he wanted and that he would be happy.
But, Trevor became very quiet and serious for the next few hours.
Later, that evening he said, "can we talk about this polyandry thing?"
I asked, "What did you think should happen? That I should just go to this wedding alone?"
"No...but..." he trailed off, "well, have a good time with Devon then."
