Now that I'm older, the story hasn't changed, but Charming is no longer a prince. People tell me "You will find someone, you just need to lower your unrealistic expectations."
Sometimes I wonder if instead of being with these two great guys, is there one man out there for me who would actually fulfill all of my relationship desires? And if I found that one person, would I want to let go of Trevor and Devon to be devoted to one man only?
Am I settling for polyandry because I haven't found Prince Charming?
The rational side of my brain says that the ideal of finding that one perfect person is impossible - and wishing for something that rarely exists is exactly the thing keeping me from being completely happy with the great situation I have.
I don't think I'm the only person who is chasing perfection against their will.
My cousin is 29 years old, and she recently told me that she met a wonderful guy on the internet. They talked over the phone for months before meeting in person (they live in different states). Then, when they finally met she saw that he is really short. Like really short - under five feet. She said she really wants to not be so superficial because he seems awesome, but she doesn't think she can even date him now.
My friend Veronica is 31 years old and her longest and only relationship has been 4 months long. She says she really wants to settle down and start a family, but she can't find anyone who inspires her to give up her freedom of not being responsible to anyone. She gets irritated if a guy she's dating wants to see her twice in one week because he's "cramping her style."
My friend Sam is 51 years old. He has been dating Erin, who he originally thought was perfect, but now that the "New Relationship Energy" is gone, he thinks maybe he should search for a different girlfriend to find that feeling again. He says that rationally his brain still says Erin's the girl for him, but he really wants that magic feeling back. He thinks that would cure his lifelong fear of commitment.
My friend Jillian is 24 years old, and getting married this August. She twisted her fiance's arm to change religions, change jobs, give up alcohol, and let her handle his finances. So far he's complied with her demands, but she has more...
My friend Charles is 27 years old. He chose to buy a house that his girlfriend Erica didn't want him to buy. She broke up with him over that decision - the problem was that he chose a house over her. Erica just got engaged - to a different guy after dating for only five months. She said that when you know it's right, you just know. Charles is distraught - he somehow thought that she would get over it and wait for him while he figured his career out first. She didn't like feeling like his back-up plan.
My friend Susannah is 36 years old. She recently got pregnant with her friend's baby. At first I was very confused since she didn't appear to be in any relationship, and didn't claim him as her date or boyfriend. She told me that she hasn't met any men who spark her interest, and she is ready to just move to the next stage - children - without finding a man first.
Wow - it seems that I live in a soap opera. No wonder my friends seem to accept my explanation of my current relationship status of "it's complicated." Suddenly polyandry is sounding very normal and well, functional.
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