Sometimes I wish I had a man who wanted me all to himself

Devon has started referring to Trevor as my "booty-call."

Image from postsecret.com

I sense a little jealousy there!  Which is not really fair because Devon is asexual.  I have to remind him that being celibate is his choice.

Besides that, Trevor is much more than just a booty-call.  He actually has a much greater role in my everyday life than Devon. 

It's complicated - I consider Devon to be the great love of my life, but if I had to choose only one of my two men, I think I would be much happier with Trevor.

Devon doesn't seem to fully understand that my relationship with Trevor is essential for my relationship with him to work.  Other than the daily long phone calls where we have daily "mind-meld" sessions, Devon is mostly absent from my life.  I've learned in the past few years that he thinks this is the ideal relationship, and no amount of asking, cajoling or coercing will cause him to change his mind.  Sometimes you just have to decide if you are going to take what someone has to offer, or leave.

It's hard for him to understand that his parents' relationship style, which he thinks is wonderful and I think is soul-killing, is not the type of relationship that works for me - unless I have an additional man in my life.

I don't understand why his parents are even still married.  Since I've known him, almost seven years, his parents have only spent about 2 months each year living in the same house.  The rest of the year his father lives in his family's old house on the island or is traveling for work.  Devon's parents talk on the phone daily, but see each other rarely.  When his father does come to visit his mother (who is a germaphobe) frequently tells him to go back to the island because he is "sick".  (I think it's just smoker's cough, nothing contagious.)

Devon's parents haven't slept in the same bedroom for the past twenty years.  Supposedly it's because his father snores so much. 

Devon and his mother made a fuss the first time I visited the island with them about how there were only four bedrooms.  I was confused, since four bedrooms seems like more than enough for two couples.  Then I learned that Devon cannot share a bedroom with anyone and his mother cannot either.  They explained that if I slept in the bedroom next to his father's bedroom that the snoring would keep me awake all night, so maybe his father should get a hotel room in the nearby town while I visited.  My eyes rolled so hard that my neck almost snapped. 

I volunteered to sleep in the room next to his father's bedroom.  If he snored at all on that trip, I didn't notice it.

It would be easy to just write off Devon as having some issues.  Sometimes I think he has Asperger's Syndrome.  (Very intelligent, but lacks social skills.)  But, I've learned that not everyone can or needs to have typical, traditional relationships.  Sometimes it's just better to shed some of those unrealistic expectations and accept that everyone has their quirks.  If I can make this work by being in a polyandric relationship, then that only benefits everyone involved. 

My other guy, Trevor, seems to be a lot less complicated.  Our relationship is almost completely about sharing daily experiences together.  We cook, eat dinner, nap, go out with friends, watch TV, and read the newspaper together, etc.  We usually spend the weekends together just hanging out at his home or mine. 

I think it's amazing that he's not intimidated by my relationship with Devon.  In fact, he welcomed it.  Trevor is not much for conversation, and he thinks my relationship with Devon is a joke.  He doesn't understand why Devon would want to fill that role in my life, but he's happy that I have someone who makes me happy in that way.

I'm surprised but very pleased that he also has no problem with my upcoming 2.5 week long vacation with Devon. Trevor told me that he's expecting to be really busy with work during that time, and he'll see me when I get back.

Sometimes I wish I had a man who wanted me all to himself, but I have two men who are dedicated to me, and this seems to work so far...